What you don't see
Well, I am pleased to say that I start my new shift and responsibilities tomorrow! Praise GOD that I no longer have to wake up at 4am and can start being among the living past 6pm lol!!
Yesterday's Meet-Me-At-The-Market did not go as well as we had hoped, but I know God will use the interactions that we did have to further His kingdom, and in some ways that we may never know on this side of eternity. But that's okay. I think we learned a good bit and will improve, I hope, for the next event that we are part of (I'll get you that info a little later ). What the event did remind me of was how important it is to be apart of the community and to engage with the people around me, ever if it is just to say hi and give a friendly smile. The Church today, and by Church I mean all the different organizations that make any claim of Christ, has lost site of this. The Church has become so focused with the programs and events that they forget that their main focus should be their individual daily lives, and how they interact with those hurting around them. Christ when he walked this earth didn't have concerts, and parties, and such, He simply was gentle, and kind to those around Him, and as such they were drawn to Him so He could THEN meet their real need: SIN; people were drawn to Him because He was first kind, then He told them of their true need, and then met that need. His death on the cross met that need for them, and everyone after them that would come to Christ in faith. How far we as a Church have come from this thought: be kind. It makes me think of lyrics to a song: "What if we put down our signs, crossed over the line, and Love like you did? Oh, Jesus, friend of sinners, Open our eyes to the world at the end of our pointing fingers. Oh, let our hearts be led by mercy, Help us reach with open hearts and open doors. Oh, Jesus, friend of sinners, break our hearts for what breaks Yours." Please, don't misunderstand me at all in this: cross of the line, open hearts and open doors DOES NOT MEAN WE APPROVE of the way the world lives. I know this because of what Christ taught: he told the prostitute to REPENT and SIN no more (a call to change); He told the publicans to REPENT and SIN no more (again, a call to change) and so many more examples. He taught that the Old Testament was to be heeded and learned from, so that we don't repeat their mistakes. But in ALL of this, He was still kind; that is why those SINNERS came to Him. I want to be kind, but tell the Truth that God has shown me: we are ALL (and all means ALL) sinners needing the Salvation that CHRIST alone offers. And this Salvation WILL change us. May I never forget that I need to be kind not just because the world tells me it's a good thing to do, but because of the Person that lives inside of me.
Borken toes and missing jewelry
So today has been...interesting. Went to work like normal and got paid to cut out props for a photo booth for out group fit event going on on Monday, as well as blow up balloons and hang them. And to top it all off, I got to go home early, yey! But the catch is that I have to work tomorrow morning at 7:30, not yey. Oh well, guess I've got to get used to it as the manager.
Once I got home, the real fun started (NOT!). I kicked my box spring of my bed and ripped my toe nail back and quiet possible broke the tip of my toe....OUCH!!! about passed out from the sight of my own blood and now it hurts like there's no tomorrow. FUN.....
So now I get to try and work with a messed up toe, then go to our ladies function for church. Should be interesting. I'm also trying to get our flower beds ready for the summer and prep for a craft fair next week. And the prepping is not going well because I have not had time to unpack and organize my craft stuff, so I have ZERO clue where some of my jewelry for said craft fair is. *sigh* oh well. I'll put out what I can find and hope it ALL sells lol.
Well time for dinner. Thanks for reading about my some what crazy day. Come see our church booth if you are in the Knoxville, TN area at Meet-Me-At-The-Market on Saturday the 29th at The Knoxville Expo Center.
Circle of life
Spring changes to Summer.
Summer changes to fall.
Fall changes to Winter.
Winter changes to Spring once again.
The Sun rises, and sets.
These are all things that we consider to be part of what has become known as the Circle of Life. Babies are born and love ones die. It's all a fact of this life we live here on this side of Eternity.
If you haven't figured it out yet, I am a Christian and fully believe that there is life after death, and I fully believe that it is the life that is spoken about in the Bible. Jesus Christ said "I am the way, the truth, and the Life" in John 14:6. In His death (that we just celebrated last week on good Friday), His burial, and HIS resurrection-celebrated on Easter Sunday, he fulfilled this statement as the ONLY Son of God and gave us a way to spend eternity in HIS presence. However, for those that deny Him and this gift, they will spend eternity in a very real Hell.
Now you may be wondering, Why are you telling me this? Well, 1) because I believe that everyone needs to hear this message. That this life is not all that matters; and how we live in this life is not what will get us to heaven. 2) because death is an everyday part of life. Flowers bloom, wilt and die, animals are born and die, and so do the one's we love the most. Like I wrote in my last post, unbeknownst to me at the time of it's writing, time WERE a changing.
We found out Sept. 8th, 2021 that my father had stage 4 kidney cancer and that 70-80% of his bone mass in the spine and ribs had been eaten away by the cancer. We learned that he had two tumors that attached themselves to his spine, one of them fracturing his vertebra in his neck. We were told that with radiation and therapy that the Dr. thought he had another year. Six weeks later, I buried my father.
I stayed with my mom for two weeks after that and came home. The week before Thanksgiving our landlord called and told us that we had till January 1 to find somewhere else to live, as she needed the house we were living in back. Over the next 4 weeks we had to endure unannounced contractors, all while we were both working and trying to find a house to purchase. By the Grace of God alone, we were not only able to find a house, but were also able to secure financing for it. On the morning that we were to close on the house, we had a tree from the neighbor's yard come down on the power lines at 5am. The tree ripped the power meter off the back of the house, and the lines from the roof. We still had too much to pack and no power. We closed on our new home at 1 that day and went back to pack what we could, by candle and batter operated lantern light. By God's grace we got moved in only two days past the deadline given by the landlord, and only because there was no power at the residence she was renting us.
Times were changing. Life was moving on, and everything was changing. Or so it seemed. We had a new home, but still didn't ( and don't yet) have children. I said last post that it was a post for another time. Well, two years ago this past January we started our infertility journey. Long story short, and without sharing too much personal, we both had health problems that were preventing us from getting pregnant. The Dr that we were seeing had told us that our only option was adoption, not wanting to deal with the health issues we both had because it was not how he thought it should be handled. Again, long story short and without too personal, we switched dr and saw a few others, and again, by God's grace alone, and by GOD'S hand alone, we now both have dealt with (or are dealing with) the health issues that were preventing us from getting pregnant. We are once again hopeful and await GOD'S timing.
I am still working with the same company that I have been with for almost two years, but have since switched which of the 7 locations that I am at, switched which shift I am working and will soon be moving into the Manager's position. My stress levels are not even a fraction of what they were and I am so blessed God has answered that prayer.
And I once again am going to try and give this a shot. My business I mean. Maybe now that I have some roots planted I can see if this will actually ever work. For almost 10 years now I have been trying, and frankly, failing at starting and maintaining my own business. I have each time had to give up on it and go work a 40hr a week job outside the house in order for us to make our goals a reality. To be able to have cars that work, to make trips to see family, etc. I have had to give up time with my husband and time with friends. I have had to miss church functions because I was too tired from my job. Maybe, just maybe, this time might be different.
Times are ever changing. The sun comes up and goes down. The Seasons change. Loved ones are born and Loved ones die. Everything is changing. Everything except God, and I am SO thankful HE NEVER changes nor does HIS love for me.
"Dear GOD, Please remind me that no matter what in my life changes, you are still the same and still have all the events in my life in your hand; that you still have the best in store for me, though it may not feel like it at that time. AMEN."
Times are a changing
Well, it's been a while since I have done anything with the business. It never really took off like I had hoped, so I had to go back to working for someone besides myself, and when I did that, I no longer had time to do anything with my personal business. And since that time, we have since moved from Houston to Knoxville, TN and I am once again working for someone besides myself. YUCK. Now, don't get me wrong, my job is kinda the easiest job I have ever had: I am a front desk attendant at a Gym; I greet our members, troubleshoot minor issues with their accounts, ring them up for food purchases, and make smoothies for anyone that would like to pay for one. Not a hard job. It doesn't pay the greatest, but it at least helps with trying to pay off loans and save up for buying a house (hopefully). But it isn't what I had hopped to be doing. On top of that, we added another dog to the mix of craziness June 21st. While she is a good pup, she is just that: a Puppy. It has been an adjustment that's for sure. But the great thing is she has slept through the night since night one and has become a great playmate for our three year old dog. They might drive us crazy daily, but we are so glad we brought her into our lives.
Yet, with all of this business I still feel empty most of the time. We still haven't had kids ( :( that's a post for another day...) so I still have enough freedom to try this thing out, right? I wish that were true, and it may be. I just don't feel like it, especially now that the world has lost their minds over this whole new virus, that will not even get named. Well, let's be honest, did they ever really have it to begin with? Any ways, I digress. With the way the world is going, small businesses are having to shut their doors, and homebased business is a thing of the past unless everyone knows your name and you have a strong online presence. Neither is true for me; I once again am in a new place trying to start over, again, while working full time and having to watch over two very mischievous and rambunctious dogs. I had hoped this business would be my source of income from home so that I could raise my family and keep my house somewhat cleaned and organized. So far, none of that seems to be in my future. And for full disclosure, I'm struggling in my faith right now. Now, let me clarify: I still FULLY believe that God has my life in His all powerful, loving hands. I also still FULLY believe that everything that is happening right now, that has happened in the past, and everything that will happen in the future is His Sovereign will for my life and is the VERY BEST things for me. I, however, do not always have to like or understand them for them to be the best for me, and that is where I am right now. Not liking or understanding. Asking why, but trusting that He knows best for me. Some days are harder than others to do that. Some days I just want to run away and cry; and on those days I know He sees every tear that falls and knows my pain. His ways are not always for us to know and understand. Matter of fact, most of the time is it this way; He is God after all. The ONE who was there before it all began; the author of everything, the creator of all. The ONE who knows all time because He predestined it; the ONE who knows all things because He causes them to happen, and no one else. And I'm feeling empty lately not because I don't have children- though that does contribute- and not because my business wont take off- though that does contribute- but primarily because I have not been where I need to be in my walk with Christ. I have wondered off from my God who loves me so much and have sought fulfillment in things of this world (kids, a job, etc.) and they will never fill, and I know that. Some times I just need reminded, and to remind myself.
Mathew 6 is a great chapter, one I need to go read over and over right now. Verse 19 and following say this:
“19)Do not lay up for yourselves treasures on earth, where moth and rust[e] destroy and where thieves break in and steal, 20) but lay up for yourselves treasures in heaven, where neither moth nor rust destroys and where thieves do not break in and steal. 21) For where your treasure is, there your heart will be also." A great reminder in times like these. What are you seeking after?
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